Some of you know and many of you don't know that my father is battleing a rare, slient, but deadly cancer called Cholangiocarcinoma (cancer in the bile duct). He has been battleing it for some time now, but only found out last July and that he is in stage 4. With the last few months being hard for my family, my mother and specially my father who fights each day to gain the strength he needs to continue to live each moment with his grandchildren, his children and the my mother the love of his life, who has devoted her life to my father and would do anything for him. It's hard to see my father in this condition and to hear him on the phone when I speak to him I wonder, is this the last time I will hear his voice or tell him I love him. I pray to my Heavenly Father to allow him more time to be with his family, to enjoy life, to enjoy the beauty of the world that our Heavenly Father has created. It's been a battle with ups and downs, good moments and bad moments, keeping the faith and then having moments where I am so angry and wonder how this could happen to my father who has done nothing to deserve this. But then I am reminded that things happen to us for a reason, we have to trust in the Lord and know this is happening to my father for a reason and know someday we will learn the truth of why my father has to go through so much. I love my father, he is a kind, loving, gentle, respectful father. He is a wonderful husband to my mother, a wonderful father and grandfather. I have always looked up to him for his talents, his knowledge and love for life. His compassion for others, specially those who are have been mistreated in the world, my father has always been there for whom ever needed a friend or extra love. He is a hard working man that has worked so hard throughout his life to provide for a large family of 8. I can remeber sitting in church as a child and holding is hands and looking at the dry cracked skin and calises on his hands and now as I am older I realize that was from working so hard. My father is amazing at everything he does, from painting, drawing, woodworking, writing stories and poams or simply clipping the branches from a tree in the backyard and making a wreath for me to hang in my home. I want my father to know that I love him and will forever be greatful for the loving father he is and greatful that Heavenly Father sent me to live with him and I am so proud to be his daughter. When I was young I once gave my dad a fathers day card and inside I wrote, "To the Best Dad I ever had", as he read it he was laughing and said what other fathers have you had. I think now and laugh at what I wrote, but I have no others just you, my dad and you really are the best. My heart is aching and hopeing that my dad will recover and life will be back to normal, but I don't think that is in the Lords plan. But I hope in Heaven and pray that when it is time for my father to return that he will be welcomed by those that have passed on and won't be alone. I pray that my father will enjoy the beauty there and have all the trees in the world to trim, beautiful lawns to mow and edge, a big white wall to paint and draw on when ever he wants, and most of all will have the choice to be with us when ever he wants, so he can continue to see us and watch his grandchildren and future grandchildren grow. Please pray for my dad, if you know him or don't know him he needs all of your prays. I love you dad.
Friday, December 10, 2010
I discovered Jack had a few ratties in his hair and was due for a haircut, but I didn't know how bad it was until I saw Jack after his hair cut, I just wanted to cry. He looked like we had been starving him for months and his ears were so short they looked like he had girl pony tails. but it's only hair and thank goodness it grows. He is looking much batter now and back to his normal self. I guess that teaches lesson that I need to brush his hair more often.